I'm a Ninja!...or Having a Mid-Life Crisis.

Seriously....I'm not sure which, but I'm just so darn happy. I'm happy to still be alive. Cancer will do that to you. Happy to have well-adjusted children. Who should have many more problems than they do. Happy to be at peace with myself and my life decisions. Yeah, how many can truly say that.

Is everything good? Heck no. I still need a job. I'm still not cancer free. I'm still living in a situation that I'd give anything to be out of.....but I'm content. Happy. Something I've pursued for years and feel that in the midst of the turmoil I seem to have found it.

I've gone back to yoga. Big part of it. There is something about forcing yourself to do nothing but focus on relaxing twice a week. What a difference it has made.

I'm changing my name....legally. Why? Several reasons.

1. I worked a job years ago that had three "Jeanette"s working for them. I became Jlynn because my name is actually Jeanette Lynn. I liked that name and looking back, I wish I'd kept it. So I'm going back. In fact, I'm changing it legally.

2. I hate the tone that my ex uses when he says Jeanette. It has a venom to it. I don't like it. Pithy and immature on my part to take offense I'm sure, but I want something new.

3. I wanted to go back to my maiden name when I divorced. One of my children asked me to keep my married name so I did. He no longer sees us having the same name as important. So I'm going back to my maiden name too.

4. A new name feels fresh, the same way that turning 50 feels fresh. I am pursuing that which brings me BLISS much as I always have, but something has changed. The pursuit now has a sense of abandon. I no longer care what others think....with the exception of my children.

5. I've shared my name change with a few select friends who have been overwhelmingly supportive and have even expressed that my new name more appropriately reflects my personality. I don't know why that makes me smile, but it does.

So there you go.....is it a Mid-Life Crisis? Yup, and I wear it proudly....like a Ninja!